Don't Talk Through the Sport News

I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about listening and  improving listening skills. Recently I have been thinking about the importance of when we talk to make it easier for the listener.

I don’t know about you, but when I have something to say I want to say it straight away. I often launch into a big conversation with my husband after having thought about something important I want to discuss with him. He is generally pretty good with listening, but there are times when I get frustrated that he doesn't listen as well as I have hoped.

The problem isn't that he's not listening, but it is that I have chosen a bad time to try and talk to him. One of my clearest memories of poor communication timing in our early days of marriage was when we were watching the news. I will watch the beginning part of the news, then the sport news would come on and I would tune out and turn to Tim and start chatting away. He would be half listening and then I would get grumpy at him for not listening. It wasn't until a little while later that I realised he actually was most interested in the sport news and I was firstly distracting him from the news he had been waiting to hear, and secondly I was just choosing a really bad time to talk to him.

As nice as it would be for people to stop everything they are doing whenever we want to talk, it is unfair to expect people to listen when they are distracted. I have learnt (and am still learning) to choose my moments to have discussions with my husband if I really want him to listen.

I try not to bombard him with questions/issues as soon as he comes in the door, I wait until the sport news is over and I ask him to sit down with me if it is something really important.

I still get it wrong, but now I am a little more mindful of it and have frequently stopped myself from starting a conversation. It might mean waiting a few minutes, or even a few hours but it makes a difference in our communication and it helps us to love each other better.

Do you find yourself picking bad times to talk? 

Linking up with the lovely Jess from Essentially Jess for IBOT