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It would be lovely to think that once you are married, you never find anyone else attractive but all the evidence around us proves this wrong. Sadly, our hearts can deceive us into thinking that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If we always followed our hearts, or allowed ourselves to believe that the heart wants what the heart wants, imagine where that would get us (just watch one episode of Days of our lives).
As my husband is a minister, we have had the privilege of doing some marriage preparation recently with two couples in our church. It has really made me reflect on how precious marriage is and how important it is to work at it. Too often, I see marriages fall apart because it gets too hard or because they feel like they have fallen out of love with each other (and maybe feel they are in love with someone else).
I cannot speak for every situation but today I want to encourage married people (and people who may be married in the future) not to follow their hearts or their feelings when it comes to a person outside their marriage. I have a fabulous marriage to a man who I am still very attracted to but I would be lying of I said I am never attracted to other people. However instead of allowing myself to believe that the heart wants what the heart wants, I work hard to see any of those type of thoughts as lies. It will NOT make me happier, or be more fun with another person. In fact, it WILL lead to much more pain (for everyone) and lots of sadness. It will never be worth it. NEVER.
A while ago, I mentioned on my facebook page that there was a recent post on the Imperfect Mum facebook page which had the story of a woman who was bored of her marriage and was attracted to another man at work. I actually expected to see comments such as "You need to follow your heart" or "You deserved to have love" but instead there was comments like "Get out of that workplace", "Try having date nights with your hubby" and lots of other really positive comments. The comments that she got really gave her encouragement to work at her marriage. It was wonderful to see.
It is so important to surround yourself with people who will encourage you to work on your marriage. I know that all my friends have the best interests of my marriage at heart when I talk to them about my hubby. I also have great friends who I know I could go to if I was struggling with temptation and they would not let me believe the lies of my heart and I can, and have done the same for them.
In a world filled with broken relationships, I want my marriage to stand the test of time. Everyday I make a choice to continue to love my husband. Even when it is hard and even when the grass looks greener somewhere else.
What are your hot tips for keeping a marriage strong?
