A Week in the Life of a Mummy & a Minister’s Wife

I recently posted an insight into my life as the wife of a minister. Since that was a popular post I thought I would open the doors of my life a little more and give you an idea of what a regular week is like for me and my family.

I will start the week with Sunday (because that’s where all the action happens).

Sunday: The crazy starts early on Sundays. My hubby leaves at 8am to set up the church leaving me to get the three kids to church by 9am. I generally finish my cup of tea, then fight with the kids to get their hair brushed, teeth brushed, shoes on and into the car by 8.45am. If I don’t scream at the kids, it has been a good morning.

Church is fun but busy. I don’t generally get to sit and listen to a sermon at church as I am either serving on (or filling in for someone else) the children’s or crèche program. I love our church family and I especially love having a cup of tea with them after the service finishes.

The little girls have been grabbing a Bible lately and pretending to read it. Awwwww!

After church we often have people over for lunch or a meeting (or both). Late afternoons are mostly free but they are frequently meetings that occur at that time.

Dinner is rushed and hubby puts the kids to bed just in time for me to open the door to the girls in my Bible study group. As well as reading the Bible, the giggling and D&M’s go on well into the night.

Monday: Monday is hubby’s day off and this is the last year we will be able to spend it as a family without at least one child in school. We often visit parks or kid friendly attractions around Canberra or just relax at home and do errands.

Family time!

 Because hubby and I don’t hear sermons we take the time to get together on a Monday night and listen to a sermon together. We have listened to sermons from SMBC (where Tim studied) and we are currently going through a Mark Driscoll series on marriage called The Peasant Princess.

Tuesday:  After getting up early to go to the gym, I often spend Tuesdays at home with the kids. That way we can recover from the weekend and clean the house and it means hubby can take the car to work (we only have one car).

Tuesday nights hubby is out at his own Bible study so I take the time to study or write blog posts (depending on which is more pressing at the time).

Wednesday: Wednesday is our playgroup day. It is often stressful to get the kids there but once we arrive I really enjoy catching up with the other mums. I was initially invited by a friend but this year I have started to form my own friendships and just love meeting with these ladies each week.

Wednesday nights hubby is home but he frequently heads to the study to work. He may also be avoiding having to watch “The Bachelor” and “Wonderland”. I consider Wednesday my “night off”. It is basically the only night I watch TV and I generally have a glass of wine and watch rubbish TV.

Thursday: Thursday starts with the gym again. Thursdays are lovely because I only have Ali with my because the older girls go to preschool and childcare.  When Ali slept in the mornings I would do study, prepare for my Bible study or children’s program and whatever else I could fit in. Now I meet up with friends or do groceries and try to fit the other things in when she goes to sleep in the afternoon.

Thursdays with Ali

Thursday nights I meet up with two friends from church to catch up and pray together. Even though we are all exhausted by Thursday night, it is great. We share the hard things and the great things going on in our lives over a glass of red wine. Then we talk to God together.

Friday: Fridays I have two of my three and so we generally try to visit with friends and get ready for whatever is on the weekend.

Friday nights we are generally at home together but one of us usually has something pressing that needs to get done or there is something social on.

Saturday: We could sleep in and have a relaxing morning but recently we have been heading to the local park for the Parkrun. It is a 5km run that happens every week and hubby and I will take turns running it. I recently completed the run in 29 mins 25 seconds!

Yay! Under 30 minutes

We then rush home for a shower and head to a party, or a lunch, or a meeting or something else.

Having kids means Saturday nights are pretty relaxed for us. We may watch a movie or just hang out together. There is the occasional social event of course. Saturdays nights are also often used to get ready for church the next day.

Then it all starts again.....

Here's a random photo of my kitchen while I am giving you a peek into my life.

  

The Blessing of Time

Last week I decided to take the kids on a road trip to visit where my parents live and stay with my Dad and his partner at their new house. It was a bit of a last minute decision to go and a little bit scary having to drive the kids 12 hours up the coast by myself. Before I went, I put the question to you all on Facebook and got some helpful tips for travelling with small children which I shared yesterday. What I didn't tell you was how amazing it was to take my girls away by myself.  I love my girls so much, but I find that in the busyness of life I don't give them as much of me as I would like when I am at home. There is always cleaning to do, or a blog post to write, or an outing head out to.

I began this blog as an encouragement to other mums (and to myself) to appreciate the blessings that children are. Sometimes I feel like I fail at that so often when we are at home. Being a natural introvert it is so much easier for me to retreat into my own thoughts even when I am playing with my kids. This past week was a great way to put all the stress of life out of my mind and just be present with my girls.

Of course the drive up wasn't all that easy to have time with them, but we still had fun counting, singing, chatting and playing eye spy. However, the little stops we had along with way were part of our fun adventure and it was a good chance to play and chat and cuddle.

A picnic with my little ladies

I have written before about how my kids prefer their dad over me so getting away with them alone was a nice chance to see that they do enjoy spending time with me. I love that they love their Daddy, but it is also lovely when all the cuddles and kisses are for me.

Our holiday was mainly for the girls to spend time with their grandparents (and me to see them too), but I made sure to take the girls out in the afternoons to have some time alone with them. It also gave my Dad and his partner some kid free time. The days I took them out, we went to get an ice cream and have a play by the beach. It was so special because they had me all to themselves and they were doing things they LOVE.

I introduced them to Bubble O Bill

I let them get messy

I let them run free on the beach

We went shopping for new swimmers & sunnies

Even though it was mostly all up to me to get them up and dressed and bathed and to sleep, I just loved being able to do all those things for them and give them my whole attention. It was also lovely not having to make dinner or thoroughly clean the house (Thanks Linda for her hospitality).

I know my hubby missed us terribly but for me it was such a blessing to really connect with my girls. I would love to do it again next year -if my hubby can bare it :)

Do you ever get away with your kids and really connect with them?

Come to Canberra & WIN a Family Pass to the National Zoo & Aquarium

Who really would want to visit Canberra????  When we first heard there was an Assistant Minister's job for my hubby in Canberra that is exactly what I said to my husband."Who would come and visit us if we lived in Canberra?"

Thankfully, God knows better than I do and we have absolutely loved living in Canberra. Today I wanted to share the things we love to do in Canberra especially those things that are good for a young family. Also as a special treat I have a giveaway for you.

Parks, Playgrounds & Gardens

Now is the time to visit Canberra, the winter has passed and it is slightly warmer. There are gorgeous blossoms out everywhere and one of the best places to see Canberra's tulips is at Floriade. The great thing about Floriade is that it is free so you can go a few times while it is on. The flowers are gorgeous and it is a really fun day out.

If you have a little more time and want to see something really special at this time of year, I highly recommend Tulip Top Gardens (check out this review I did on Her Canberra last year). I think the flowers are even nicer than Floriade, mostly because of the blossoms.

Tulip Top Gardens

For something a bit different and to get out into Nature, our favourite day out is Tidbinbilla Nature Reserve. There are great playgrounds, picnic areas, bush walks and there are even Emus, Kangaroos and a Koala for the kids to see. 

Our kids also like the Australian National Botanic Gardens as a nice place to have a picnic and walk around in nature.

Canberra is filled with lots and lots of great parks and playgrounds. We are always on the lookout for a good playground. The one at the Arboretum is my kids favourite. It is well worth a visit as the playground is massive and there is also a nice cafe and restaurant there. They also love Weston Park because it has a Miniature Railway 


Attractions

Our favourite kid friendly attraction is Questacon. It is fun for every member of the family and especially good for very little people as they can play at Mini Q. Even if you are not into Science (like me) it is worth visiting.

For a good look out over the whole of Canberra, my kids LOVE Black Mountain Tower. Since we went there they haven't stopped talking about it and point it out every time they see it (which is a lot).

Who remembers when it was Telecom tower??

You can't go past Cockington Green for a cute thing to do with the kids. There are heaps of miniature replicas of buildings from around the world. My kids are still a little bit young to appreciate it but they enjoy being there and running around.

We also love the National Zoo & Aquarium. The kids can't get enough of the animals you have the chance to check it out for FREE if you enter the giveaway below.

Also around the same area are Parliament House, The War Memorial, The National Gallery of Australia, The National Portrait Gallery and the National Museum. We love these places but are a little bit harder with very little people.

Drives

We love to take drives to get out of Canberra for the day. Our favourite drives are Murrumbateman (30 -40 mins out of Canberra cute town lots of wineries), Hall (Poachers Pantry), & Gundaroo.  

I could go on and on but I will stop and give you a chance to WIN something (this is not sponsored. I just wanted to give you a chance to win something nice).

 

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Making the Most of Your Marriage

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post called "The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants" and I had a great response  At the end of the post (and on facebook) I asked what your hot tips for looking after your marriage were. The tips were so good that I decided to dedicate a whole blog post to it.

I have been married for 8 years (and 1 month) and I am still learning how to be married. Sometimes it is really fun and easy. Other times it is just plain hard work. Even when it is hard work, it is still worth all the effort. Even in my short time of being married I have learned a few things that I think help marriages (at least mine) stay strong. My top tips are:

• Find hobbies that you enjoy doing together. We like running, eating out and cooking together, going for bush walks (rare now we have kids) and holidaying  (especially camping).
• Find time each day to talk to each other about things other than the business of running a home and caring for kids.
• Sex is an important part of your relationship and it is good to make time for it regularly.
• Don't hold onto hurts, talk about it, forgive each other and let it go.

I'm sure I could think of lots more but I will hand over to my lovely readers who left these comments:

Fiona from Imogens angels said "My hot tip is to talk to each other, actually know what is happening in each others life's. Show an interest!. My husband and me have been together for over 10 years and there is no way we would be together if didn't allow the time each day to talk and listen to each other"

Lynda from All About Muma"this false Greco/Roman notion of 'Romantic love' where you have no control over your actions that is promoted in almost every TV show/movie has been responsible for ruining so many marriages. It makes me really mad. It is not a trendy notion but marriage does take work - affirming life giving words to one another, forgiveness, listening, spending time together, accepting the others faults. It's worth it - there is nothing better than a good, solid marriage :-)"

Deb from Aspiring Mum " I would have to say communication, praying together and respect are what have helped us stay together. If there's no respect, it can cause so many problems. Also learning to be selfless - not always easy, but there is no room for selfishness if a marriage is to work."

Hayley from Happy Housewifey said "The "I'm not in love with you anymore" line really annoys me, and I cringe when I hear it. 
Love is a choice & action, not a feeling. " She also wrote this great post on the topic A Student of Your Spouse
Mrs BC  from mrsbcshouseofchaossaid "I think the secret is to be committed to your marriage, not your love - love ebbs and flows, and sometimes it is a bit thin on the ground"

Jess from Essentially Jess said "One thing I do, is make sure I don't develop strong relationships with other men. It's ok to be friends but there has to be a line, because I've seen emotional affairs happen far too quickly and easily"

 Bec from The Plumbette said "The grass is never greener on the other side when you have an affair. The ripple effect affects family and friends."

Julie from The Useful Box said "I try to think daily (or at least regularly) about all the wonderful things about my husband and how perfect he is (for me!)"

 Janet from Redland City Living said "Love is first of all, a VERB, a doing word. Secondly I believe when it come to marriage it is a CHOICE, to keep loving that person."

Jane  said "If you're talking affairs, more than anything boundaries is the key. You can have a 'good' marriage, date nights, whatever but if one person doesn't understand boundaries, by which I mean that there is NO such thing as just friends, don't be alone with anyone of the opposite sex --EVER, unless they are a family member, even having a business lunch -- Do not do it. Your spouse should have the passwords to your Facebook, email etc. the grass is greener is a lie of the devil and he is cunning. "

Jeanie in Paradise said "I think it is important that you share some common goals and values with your husband. Communicate, and know at base that BOTH of you are committed to making the union one that reflects the blessings"

Trish from My Little Drummer Boys said "I started doing the LOVE DARE to help strengthen my marriage of 23yrs. "

 Sophie  from iSophie said "Communication is key. And basic morals actually, we all know right from wrong after all don't we? Having a common interest or showing avid active interest in your spouses' interest goes along way in strengthening a relationship I find"

Mark from My Gungahlin said "A friend said his grandparents tip was they had to kiss goodnight every night. This meant they wouldn't go to bed angry/upset with the other or each other.

Karen said "Don't try to change them! You fell in love with them as they were, not how you want them to be"


Thanks everyone for these great tips. 










Linking up today with Essentially Jess for:

Are You Going to Patrick's Funeral?

I have a funeral to go to tonight. Yes, I know Dr Patrick Reid doesn't actually exist but I am  getting that real sense of dread that I get when I have a funeral to attend. In some ways I wish that Offspring finished completely last week and that we didn't have to go through the funeral. I know there are lots of loose ends to tie up with the season, but all I can think of is how hard that funeral is going to be to watch.




It isn't just that I have become too hooked on Offspring. It is also about what having to watch a funeral brings up. It makes me remember those I have lost, and it also makes me imagine what it would feel like to lose someone so close to me. Because of these reasons, I think I am going to struggle through Offspring tonight...I am even tempted not to watch (but of course I will).

As I was writing this, I clicked onto Facebook and found this article about a women  whose husband died suddenly. I wasn't even going to write about this but I really do have a fear that I will lose my hubby. Mainly because I have a way too active imagination (kind of like Nina) and he doesn't have a great family history. I don't think about it all the time but I do wonder how I would cope.

When I was pregnant I often had those crazy dreams that my hubby died (or left me, or wouldn't marry me). I feared having to give birth without him by my side. I now fear having to raise the girls alone, or not having that one person that gets me, accepts me and loves me. They are not massive fears, just something I think about from time to time. I know from seeing so many brave women continue on after a loss that I would be fine, broken, but fine. I hope and pray that it isn't something I have to experience.

Tonight, I know that I'm going to sob like a baby, because death is really sad. Even though it is just a TV show these things can and do happen every day. 

However, once it is over (and even during it) I am going to hold onto my hubby as tight as I can, and enjoy the time I have with him.

Will you be watching tonight?

The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants

I am a little ashamed to admit I was watching Days of our Lives last week. During the show I heard one of the characters saying "The heart wants what the heart wants" in reference to her poor relationship choices. It was a line that has really stuck with me this week.

Of course, it was said in a trashy TV show where everyone is sleeping with everyone else, but when I thought about it I realised that it is a common way of thinking. We often hear these words or similar words like "Follow your heart", "You can't help who you fall in love with".  As I thought about these words during the week I began to think about how dangerous these words can be, particularly in marriage.

It would be lovely to think that once you are married, you never find anyone else attractive but all the evidence around us proves this wrong. Sadly, our hearts can deceive us into thinking that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If we always followed our hearts, or allowed ourselves to believe that the heart wants what the heart wants, imagine where that would get us (just watch one episode of Days of our lives).

As my husband is a minister, we have had the privilege of doing some marriage preparation recently with two couples in our church. It has really made me reflect on how precious marriage is and how important it is to work at it. Too often, I see marriages fall apart because it gets too hard or because they feel like they have fallen out of love with each other (and maybe feel they are in love with someone else).

I cannot speak for every situation but today I want to encourage married people (and people who may be married in the future) not to follow their hearts or their feelings when it comes to a person outside their marriage.  I have a fabulous marriage to a man who I am still very attracted to but I would be lying of I said I am never attracted to other people. However instead of allowing myself to believe that the heart wants what the heart wants, I work hard to see any of those type of thoughts as lies. It will NOT make me happier, or be more fun with another person. In fact, it WILL lead to much more pain (for everyone) and lots of sadness. It will never be worth it. NEVER.

A while ago, I mentioned on my facebook page that there was a recent post on the Imperfect Mum facebook page which had the story of a woman who was bored of her marriage and was attracted to another man at work. I actually expected to see comments such as "You need to follow your heart" or "You deserved to have love" but instead there was comments like "Get out of that workplace", "Try having date nights with your hubby" and lots of other really positive comments. The comments that she got really gave her encouragement to work at her marriage. It was wonderful to see.

It is so important to surround yourself with people who will encourage you to work on your marriage. I know that all my friends have the best interests of my marriage at heart when I talk to them about my hubby. I also have great friends who I know I could go to if I was struggling with temptation and they would not let me believe the lies of my heart and I can, and have done the same for them.

In a world filled with broken relationships, I want my marriage to stand the test of time. Everyday I make a choice to continue to love my husband. Even when it is hard and even when the grass looks greener somewhere else. 

What are your hot tips for keeping a marriage strong?