I think I just learned something about parenting.

I have been reflecting recently on my relationship with my two and a half year old and wondering why things seem to have been a little easier between us. For a while, I am ashamed to admit,  I loved her but there was a lot of times I didn't really like her.  She was throwing tantrums, doing "naughty" things for no real reason, and worst of all.......she was refusing to sleep in the afternoon.

All mums would know that a baby or toddler's sleep time is like a taste of heaven on earth. It means rest, in the early days it might mean sleep for the weary mumma but most of the time it is a time of not having to clean up after, worry about, discipline, entertain  the little ones. I had it good for a while my baby and the toddler would sleep at the same time and I would get at least an hour of me time. Generally I would make a cup of tea, eat some chocolate (if it had been a rough morning) and watch T.V. It was lovely and I treasured that time even if I was rotting my brain (and possibly my soul) by watching "The Hills".

I can't remember how it started but she just decided that she did not want to be contained in her room (no matter what was offered), she would scream at the door until I let her out. For a while there I would go in and out but in the end I got so angry that I would let her scream herself to sleep at the door. Great parenting...you must be thinking. I just could not deal with her. Worse still, even though I had Claire in a port-a-cot in another room she was screaming so loud that I ended up with two little people awake. You can imagine how happy I was about that.

I just felt like I was becoming an angry mum. I was constantly yelling at her and as I said I was struggling to like her. My husband noticed that she was also quite hard to get to sleep at night time and he suggested that we just drop the sleep all together. This suggestion did not go down well at all. I felt angry (again) and felt like I was owed her sleep time. I felt I needed that time for myself and was not willing to give it up.

A couple of weeks passed, and Claire was woken up more regularly and sleep was less frequent and I begrudgingly began to see the wisdom of what my husband had said. So annoying when they are right :). So I gave up on trying to make her sleep and decided to let her watch a movie or T.V. so I can have a little "me" time and then I do something with her like cooking. It is lovely now as she asks me "Mummy, can we do Tooking while Tare sleeps" (-she replaces C's with T's). So we have something special that we do together.

So as I mentioned at the beginning things have been much better between us and the change has not been in her at all. She is still a little bratty toddler, trying to push the limits and gain independence. The change has been in me. Instead of demanding my "me" time and battling with her to get what I wanted I have let go of these things and worked to come to a compromise with her where she feels that she is loved and she is getting one on one time with me.

Our time together has been lovely recently. Instead of being totally a Daddy's girl, I am now getting lots more of hugs and kisses and she seems to be enjoying spending more time with me. I don't claim to have all the answers but I feel that I have learned that it is not about changing her but changing my expectations of her. She is only two and while disciple is really important, if what I am trying to make her do is more about me and what I want, rather than what will benefit her, then it is me that needs to change.

There is still so much more learning and growing to do as a parent but it is nice when I get something right.

I just love spending time with this girl