A Week in the Life of a Mummy & a Minister’s Wife

I recently posted an insight into my life as the wife of a minister. Since that was a popular post I thought I would open the doors of my life a little more and give you an idea of what a regular week is like for me and my family.

I will start the week with Sunday (because that’s where all the action happens).

Sunday: The crazy starts early on Sundays. My hubby leaves at 8am to set up the church leaving me to get the three kids to church by 9am. I generally finish my cup of tea, then fight with the kids to get their hair brushed, teeth brushed, shoes on and into the car by 8.45am. If I don’t scream at the kids, it has been a good morning.

Church is fun but busy. I don’t generally get to sit and listen to a sermon at church as I am either serving on (or filling in for someone else) the children’s or crèche program. I love our church family and I especially love having a cup of tea with them after the service finishes.

The little girls have been grabbing a Bible lately and pretending to read it. Awwwww!

After church we often have people over for lunch or a meeting (or both). Late afternoons are mostly free but they are frequently meetings that occur at that time.

Dinner is rushed and hubby puts the kids to bed just in time for me to open the door to the girls in my Bible study group. As well as reading the Bible, the giggling and D&M’s go on well into the night.

Monday: Monday is hubby’s day off and this is the last year we will be able to spend it as a family without at least one child in school. We often visit parks or kid friendly attractions around Canberra or just relax at home and do errands.

Family time!

 Because hubby and I don’t hear sermons we take the time to get together on a Monday night and listen to a sermon together. We have listened to sermons from SMBC (where Tim studied) and we are currently going through a Mark Driscoll series on marriage called The Peasant Princess.

Tuesday:  After getting up early to go to the gym, I often spend Tuesdays at home with the kids. That way we can recover from the weekend and clean the house and it means hubby can take the car to work (we only have one car).

Tuesday nights hubby is out at his own Bible study so I take the time to study or write blog posts (depending on which is more pressing at the time).

Wednesday: Wednesday is our playgroup day. It is often stressful to get the kids there but once we arrive I really enjoy catching up with the other mums. I was initially invited by a friend but this year I have started to form my own friendships and just love meeting with these ladies each week.

Wednesday nights hubby is home but he frequently heads to the study to work. He may also be avoiding having to watch “The Bachelor” and “Wonderland”. I consider Wednesday my “night off”. It is basically the only night I watch TV and I generally have a glass of wine and watch rubbish TV.

Thursday: Thursday starts with the gym again. Thursdays are lovely because I only have Ali with my because the older girls go to preschool and childcare.  When Ali slept in the mornings I would do study, prepare for my Bible study or children’s program and whatever else I could fit in. Now I meet up with friends or do groceries and try to fit the other things in when she goes to sleep in the afternoon.

Thursdays with Ali

Thursday nights I meet up with two friends from church to catch up and pray together. Even though we are all exhausted by Thursday night, it is great. We share the hard things and the great things going on in our lives over a glass of red wine. Then we talk to God together.

Friday: Fridays I have two of my three and so we generally try to visit with friends and get ready for whatever is on the weekend.

Friday nights we are generally at home together but one of us usually has something pressing that needs to get done or there is something social on.

Saturday: We could sleep in and have a relaxing morning but recently we have been heading to the local park for the Parkrun. It is a 5km run that happens every week and hubby and I will take turns running it. I recently completed the run in 29 mins 25 seconds!

Yay! Under 30 minutes

We then rush home for a shower and head to a party, or a lunch, or a meeting or something else.

Having kids means Saturday nights are pretty relaxed for us. We may watch a movie or just hang out together. There is the occasional social event of course. Saturdays nights are also often used to get ready for church the next day.

Then it all starts again.....

Here's a random photo of my kitchen while I am giving you a peek into my life.

  

The Winmalee Fires Up Close

As many of you will know, my mother in law lost her house on Thursday to the fires in Winmalee. Her house was one of 45 houses that were lost in her street (that's about a third of the houses in the street). She went  to work that morning and didn't have a chance to return to collect valuables. My sister in law and her family were also living with my mother in law at the time. She took the kids to her brother's house earlier in the day concerned that the smoke would  affect the kid's asthma. The fires hit so quickly that there was no chance to return to the house to attempt to save it or save any precious items. A neighbour who was evacuating his own house happened to hear my sister in law's dog in the backyard and was able to save the dog before heading to safety.

Yesterday we drove up to see what was left of the house my husband grew up in. As you can see there isn't much left. What surprised me the most was the spirit of the people in the community. People were sharing stories and helping each other out and smiling. We spoke to some family friends that live in the street and they were showing us what they had managed to salvage from the fire. You can see in the photos the war medals that this man's son had dug up. They said it was fun, like "an archaeological dig". Their whole house was gone, but they were seeing all the things they could be thankful for (like the carport to stand under and the caravan which was untouched by the fire and was space that was their own).

There have been so many people generously offering to donate all sort of items to those affected by the fires. We spoke to people running a collection center in the area yesterday and they are full to capacity with donated items. However, those affected by the fires are currently unable to accept more than a few items of clothes. Many of them are staying with friends and relatives and the priority is to sort out insurance claims and find longer term housing. If you have offered  or collected items the best thing is to hold onto them yourself until people have places to store them (and the head space to know what they need). At the moment they need our prayers and some financial donations. Another great suggestion is giving Coles, Woolies, Bunnings, Myer etc vouchers so they can use them to get what they need, when they need it.

We are so thankful that these fires have not claimed any lives and as my brother in law said "They are just things". Everything can and will be replaced in time. Thankfully our families are fully insured so we are looking forward to seeing a beautiful new home built where the old house was. It will be filled with wonderful new memories, but the old memories will live on in our mind and hearts.

I have added lots of photos below for those who are interested in seeing what the fire has done.

The drive in to Winmalee

A helicopter taking water to another fire

The items they managed to salvage

Trying to figure out what is what

champagne glass

My sister in law looking over the garage where her belonging were stored 

We found the door handle!

The pantry

I turned my black converse white by stepping in burnt books

Neighbours to the right

Neighbours to the left

The war medals that were found

Thankful for a car port and a caravan

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT

The Blessing of Time

Last week I decided to take the kids on a road trip to visit where my parents live and stay with my Dad and his partner at their new house. It was a bit of a last minute decision to go and a little bit scary having to drive the kids 12 hours up the coast by myself. Before I went, I put the question to you all on Facebook and got some helpful tips for travelling with small children which I shared yesterday. What I didn't tell you was how amazing it was to take my girls away by myself.  I love my girls so much, but I find that in the busyness of life I don't give them as much of me as I would like when I am at home. There is always cleaning to do, or a blog post to write, or an outing head out to.

I began this blog as an encouragement to other mums (and to myself) to appreciate the blessings that children are. Sometimes I feel like I fail at that so often when we are at home. Being a natural introvert it is so much easier for me to retreat into my own thoughts even when I am playing with my kids. This past week was a great way to put all the stress of life out of my mind and just be present with my girls.

Of course the drive up wasn't all that easy to have time with them, but we still had fun counting, singing, chatting and playing eye spy. However, the little stops we had along with way were part of our fun adventure and it was a good chance to play and chat and cuddle.

A picnic with my little ladies

I have written before about how my kids prefer their dad over me so getting away with them alone was a nice chance to see that they do enjoy spending time with me. I love that they love their Daddy, but it is also lovely when all the cuddles and kisses are for me.

Our holiday was mainly for the girls to spend time with their grandparents (and me to see them too), but I made sure to take the girls out in the afternoons to have some time alone with them. It also gave my Dad and his partner some kid free time. The days I took them out, we went to get an ice cream and have a play by the beach. It was so special because they had me all to themselves and they were doing things they LOVE.

I introduced them to Bubble O Bill

I let them get messy

I let them run free on the beach

We went shopping for new swimmers & sunnies

Even though it was mostly all up to me to get them up and dressed and bathed and to sleep, I just loved being able to do all those things for them and give them my whole attention. It was also lovely not having to make dinner or thoroughly clean the house (Thanks Linda for her hospitality).

I know my hubby missed us terribly but for me it was such a blessing to really connect with my girls. I would love to do it again next year -if my hubby can bare it :)

Do you ever get away with your kids and really connect with them?

You Are What You.....Watch/Read/Hear.

You have heard it said that you are what you eat, but I have been thinking recently about the impact of what I watch, read and hear. A couple of weeks ago, I shared with you the post Pretending everything is ok. It was at that time that I realised the importance of what I am allowing into my mind.

When I was going through what I am jokingly calling "my mid life crisis", my mind was consumed with thoughts of how  my life could be better. They mainly focused around being more attractive, being more successful, having a different life etc. These thoughts are not uncommon, but the amount and strength of them was becoming a problem.

Be careful what you see, hear and what you say.

I have been wondering where these type of thoughts come from. Why, when I have a great life, a happy marriage and wonderful kids was I so discontent? In the past few weeks I have made a very deliberate effort to turn away from the things that I was focusing on. In doing this, I have realised that I had been filling my mind with very unhelpful images, and messages.

Most of the things in themselves are not bad. One thing was watching make up tutorials on YouTube. Not one or two but lots (so many that my 4 year old now asks to watch them). I was constantly trying to make myself look younger, prettier, more attractive. There were also movies and T.V. shows that I would watch and imagine a different life. A life that didn't involve kids or a husband. In some ways that seemed appealing.

I'm not sure if others struggle with these things (maybe they don't even notice they do it). I think most of us wish we had the lives of celebrities, or the wealthy or those who seemingly have it more together than we do.  If our minds are constantly focusing on these things rather than the life we have been given, how will we ever be content.

I have realised that, for me it is a matter of making sure I am very careful about what's going into my mind. It means cutting back on make up tutorials, turning off T.V. shows that I know are not helpful, and not typing David Anders into Pinterest (ok that one isn't really a problem for me but he is my celebrity crush).

The most important thing I have found that helps is replacing the unhealthy stuff with good stuff. For me as a Christian it means reading the Bible and seeing what it has to say about the importance of family and my role as a wife and mum. I have also found that instead of listening to music at the gym, I listen to podcasts/talks about strengthening my marriage and family.

During my "mid life crisis" my mind was filled with so much discontentment. Just a few short weeks later I am seeing the wonderful (and completely undeserved) blessings I have in my life.  It takes work, but I am going to continue to be careful of what I watch, read and hear because it shapes who I am.

It has been a while since I linked up but I'm back linking up for:

Pretending That Everything is OK

On the weekend I sat in a cafe with a friend. We ordered yummy cakes and sat down to chat about what had been happening in our lives for the past two weeks.

I let her tell me things that had been going on in her life and I shared a little bit about our trip to Fiji and the conversation went on from there. Towards the end of the conversation she looked me in the eyes and said "You know you can tell me anything" (or something along those lines). Suddenly, I couldn't hold back the tears and I knew I could not get away with pretending everything was ok.

Previously in the conversation she had said to me that she often looks at me and thinks I have it all together. I guess it can seem like that. I have a happy marriage, happy kids, I study, I blog and I do all the things I need to at church. I am a pretty positive person, so I try not to complain too much about things. Her comment surprised me because I had held the opinion of myself that I am honest about my struggles. The whole reason for starting this blog was to share my struggles and be honest about where I fail to appreciate the blessings in my life. Her comment made me realise that in the past couple of months I had not been honest about what I was going through.

We really had a great time, but some of the time I just felt lonely

I think being the minister's wife is a position that can be difficult to balance. On one hand you want to be a good role model to peers and those who you lead. However on the other hand, it is vitally important that you are honest about the struggles you are having because that is actually a good model of how to live.

In recent weeks I had forgotten the second part. Something had changed inside of me and I knew I didn't want anyone to know. I had become discontent with my life, I was feeling lonely, I was feeling old and unlovable and I was trying to find fulfillment with the wrong things.

As I am pretty transparent, my closer friends could see something wasn't right but there was no way I was going to tell them the thoughts that were  going through my head. 

I'm not sure if you believe Satan exists but I do and there was an almost audible voice in my head telling me that I could never tell anyone. I thought I could handle it myself and things would get better. Things didn't get better, things got worse. Only ever in my head, but the discontentment was so strong.

Things had improved slightly before I met with my friend in the cafe. One night, not being able to hold it in anymore I confessed my struggles to a friend. She had encouraged me to talk to my husband and in doing that I immediately felted the burden lift. Somehow the thoughts lost their power. However, it was not long until I started to slowly spiral down again. This time though I was too ashamed to say that I was going through the same thing again. So I kept it to myself.

It was only in the cafe that what was going on in my head bubbled to the surface again, and while we might not have gone into details, letting a good friend see that I wasn't going so well was really helpful. My friend convinced me that I needed to talk to my husband again and I did.

It has only been in the last week (and after more conversations with my amazingly loving and supportive husband) have I felt I am myself again.  I am enjoying life and getting back into my relationship with God (because of course I didn't really want His input into my situation at the time).

Why do I share this with you? Well, because my friend (from the cafe) made me realise that I do create a picture of a perfect life. I honestly don't mean to but sometimes it is easier than sharing what is really going on. It is not always important to go into details, but telling some you are not coping is so important (and sometimes you need to tell them more than once).

Hopefully it can help even one person to see the benefits of telling others what is going on instead of trying to manage it yourself. Even if you have done something really stupid, don't keep it bottled up. Find a trusted friend or your partner and get some support. Or if it is really bad call Lifeline or a counselling service.

You are never too bad or too far from forgiveness.

Is there something that you are holding onto that you need to talk about?

My 4 Year Old Has a Boyfriend!

My 4 year old has a boyfriend. Not just a boy who is a friend, but a boy who she wants to spend every waking moment with. A boy who, when they are together they are either hugging or holding hands.

I know this is a fairly common occurrence for kids but to be honest it is freaking me out. I thought I had longer with her attached to us as her parents, before she started finding strong relationships outside the family.

Don't get me wrong, it is actually lovely. Her boyfriend, lets call him J, is a gorgeous little boy. His mum is a friend of mine and I love her to bits too. 

I just find it really weird seeing them not only holding hands, but hugging and not leaving each others' side whenever they are together. J also is part of our church family so even on Sundays during our kids program they are glued together (which I think drives the leaders a bit crazy).

They go to the same preschool on the same days (but not in the same class), and Emily has told me that she will only play with J during outside time. Even though I have tried to encourage her to play with some other children, she insists that J is the only friend she will play with. 

Earlier last term, J was sick for a few days. I had the opportunity to observe her in the playground and noticed that instead of playing with other children, she was following the teacher around. 

It is lovely that she has such a wonderful friend in J, and I know they are not very likely to be still in love in 15 years time. I guess I just worry that she will miss out on making friendships with other little girls and boys.

I spoke to a friend about this recently, she said her little preschool aged girl was the opposite. Her daughter floats around playing with everyone and doesn't have a regular friend. It made me realise that all kids are different, and at preschool they are just finding their feet with the whole friendship thing. 

So instead of worrying (although I may still worry a bit), I am just going to enjoy watching my little girl and her "friend" enjoy each others' company. 

Have any of your kids had boyfriends at an early age? How did you cope with it?