In a couple of days my two little girls are going to start childcare one day per week. We started thinking about childcare a year ago as we were looking into pre-school options for our eldest who is just turned three. As government pre school does not start in Canberra until four years old we wanted something that would give her the stimulation she needed but would not cost us a million dollars or have me driving her back and forth to half day programs. We decided to look into childcare as we knew were eligible for a significant rebate from the government.
As it turned out it was quite a good option to put both the girls into care for one day giving me a day to myself to focus possibly on study, or church ministry and some blogging. Not long after we made this decision it turned out to be a time for me to spend 1:1 with our new baby (and maybe some blogging).
It all sounded lovely until I started to think about it as being the beginning of the end of my time with the girls at home. Then it made me feel really sad. Even though they can sometimes drive me crazy and I find it hard to get things done, I really love having them around. Call me crazy but I actually feel like I might be missing out on something when I am not around them.
We took them for a trial hour recently to see how they would go without us there. Emily (3 years) was basically fine although she did have a bit of a cry at one point, but my poor little Claire (who is 19 months) found it quite hard. We were told she would be okay and then cry for a little bit, then be ok then cry again. That was only for an hour.
I know next week when she stays for the whole day she is going to probably have the saddest day of her life so far and it breaks my heart to think about her being sad and me not being there to comfort her. It breaks my heart that she will just be another kid at the centre and she may not even be a kid that the carers have any affection for.
I know each of us have a different view and experience of parenting but I think that what drives my parenting is the fact that for a while there it looked as though we may never experience parenthood following my miscarriages. I just want to soak up every last minute of my time with my gorgeous girls and experience the undeserved blessings that have been given to me.
That said, I am very excited about the experiences my children will have in being placed in childcare. There centre is lovely, the carers are lovely and I know they will be able to engage in activities we don't do at home and they will also make friends which they would not have made if they were at home.
 |
| My pain has been made easier by having some cute lunch bags from Mooo similar to this one |
So this Thursday it begins, the start of the breaking some of the bonds I have created with my children but also beginning a journey which will ultimately help my girls become independent women. Of course the independent women part is still a VERY long way off and I know I have many more years to enjoy my girls.
How old were your children when they first spend whole days away from you (whether in childcare or some other activity)? How did you cope with it?
