As most of you already know I put my girls (3 years and 19months) into childcare for the first time on Thursday.I thought I would share with you how the day went.
We arrived at the centre at 9am (which was a little bit later than we normally will be dropping them off) to make it a shorter day. We dropped Emily (3 years) off in her room and she went straight for some puzzles set up on the table and seemed comfortable with us leaving. We then took Claire (19 months) into her room as she happily chatted and looked around, unaware of what was about to happen. As the carers approached her she became shy and clung to me, so I sat her down and played with some toys for a while, telling her mummy had to leave soon. I could see that the carers were not really wanting me to hang around (and delay the inevitable) so I kissed her goodbye and started to leave. As I walked out the door I heard her cry "Mummmmmy!" it nearly broke my heart to leave her, knowing it was not just for an hour or two but for the whole day in such an unfamiliar place.
 |
| My very attractive children..no modeling careers here |
 |
| The start of a sad day |
I could feel the tears coming to my eyes as I walked out, I was hoping no one would talk to me or look at me as I was about to burst into tears. I had to go back through Emily's room to get back out so I said goodbye and got a distracted hug and then headed out the door. I didn't make it to the car before the tears started to flow and in the car I was free to let it out. I literally sobbed all the way home knowing that my little girl was in there crying for me but I was not able to comfort her.
By the time I got home I was ok but threw myself into housework until the house looked spotless. I actually smiled to myself as I looked around thinking, "Wow, it is going to stay this clean for at least FIVE hours".
I called the centre at about 10.30am although I was not sure whether I should. I did not really feel I needed to, but I thought I should just check otherwise I would be a bad mother. As expected Emily was fine, but Claire was described as fragile, but better than she had been when I left. I did not really feel reassured but this but it was the message I was expecting to get.
I did quite well for the rest of the day. I had some uninterrupted computer time, caught up with a friend for coffee (uninterrupted), had an uninterrupted lunch and met with someone else...all uninterrupted. As hard as it was initially, the freedom I had and the things I was able to get done helped me to enjoy the day.
When the time came to pick them up we got Emily first. She had a lovely day, she was sitting next to another little girl and they were both putting their shoes on, and chatting away. We were told she had used to toilet, played nicely but did not eat much lunch and just rolled around during nap time (no real surprises there).
Heading down to Claire's room we could see her through the window standing up while they kids were being read a story. We did not want to interrupt the story so we watched her for almost five minutes. I know this might be a strange thing to say but she looked different. The light had gone from her face and eyes. She was not sad but she was just not herself. She had a blank look on her face, and even though she was pointing to pictures and chatting about the story it just did not seem like my little Claire standing in front of me. She was just one of the others kids.
We were told that she had refused to eat anything (very unusual for Claire who eats her own food then gobbles up other people's food), and had been pretty sad until sleep time when she was given her special blanket and had a 2 hour nap. She had only been awake for an hour when we arrived and I guess she was just getting on with it but still feeling lost and sad. She didn't cry when she saw us but hugged me hard and said "home!".
While seeing her like this was really hard I know it will get easier for her and she will make friends and enjoy the activities that she gets to engage in while there. It wasn't an easy time for any of us but I wasn't first mum to experience this and thanks for all the wonderful comments on facebook and on this blog I know my experience is similar to others and am told it gets easier.
So now I am actually looking forward to next week and the freedom I can have.....at least until this new baby arrives :)
