 |
I have been married for 8 years (and 1 month) and I am still learning how to be married. Sometimes it is really fun and easy. Other times it is just plain hard work. Even when it is hard work, it is still worth all the effort. Even in my short time of being married I have learned a few things that I think help marriages (at least mine) stay strong. My top tips are:
- Find hobbies that you enjoy doing together. We like running, eating out and cooking together, going for bush walks (rare now we have kids) and holidaying (especially camping).
- Find time each day to talk to each other about things other than the business of running a home and caring for kids.
- Sex is an important part of your relationship and it is good to make time for it regularly.
- Don't hold onto hurts, talk about it, forgive each other and let it go.
I'm sure I could think of lots more but I will hand over to my lovely readers who left these comments:
Fiona from Imogens angels said "My hot tip is to talk to each other, actually know what is happening in each others life's. Show an interest!. My husband and me have been together for over 10 years and there is no way we would be together if didn't allow the time each day to talk and listen to each other"
Lynda from All About Muma"this false Greco/Roman notion of 'Romantic love' where you have no control over your actions that is promoted in almost every TV show/movie has been responsible for ruining so many marriages. It makes me really mad. It is not a trendy notion but marriage does take work - affirming life giving words to one another, forgiveness, listening, spending time together, accepting the others faults. It's worth it - there is nothing better than a good, solid marriage :-)"
Deb from Aspiring Mum " I would have to say communication, praying together and respect are what have helped us stay together. If there's no respect, it can cause so many problems. Also learning to be selfless - not always easy, but there is no room for selfishness if a marriage is to work."
Hayley from Happy Housewifey said "The "I'm not in love with you anymore" line really annoys me, and I cringe when I hear it.
Love is a choice & action, not a feeling. " She also wrote this great post on the topic A Student of Your Spouse
Mrs BC from mrsbcshouseofchaossaid "I think the secret is to be committed to your marriage, not your love - love ebbs and flows, and sometimes it is a bit thin on the ground"
Jess from Essentially Jess said "One thing I do, is make sure I don't develop strong relationships with other men. It's ok to be friends but there has to be a line, because I've seen emotional affairs happen far too quickly and easily"
Bec from The Plumbette said "The grass is never greener on the other side when you have an affair. The ripple effect affects family and friends."
Julie from The Useful Box said "I try to think daily (or at least regularly) about all the wonderful things about my husband and how perfect he is (for me!)"
Janet from Redland City Living said "Love is first of all, a VERB, a doing word. Secondly I believe when it come to marriage it is a CHOICE, to keep loving that person."
Jane said "If you're talking affairs, more than anything boundaries is the key. You can have a 'good' marriage, date nights, whatever but if one person doesn't understand boundaries, by which I mean that there is NO such thing as just friends, don't be alone with anyone of the opposite sex --EVER, unless they are a family member, even having a business lunch -- Do not do it. Your spouse should have the passwords to your Facebook, email etc. the grass is greener is a lie of the devil and he is cunning. "
Jeanie in Paradise said "I think it is important that you share some common goals and values with your husband. Communicate, and know at base that BOTH of you are committed to making the union one that reflects the blessings"
Trish from My Little Drummer Boys said "I started doing the LOVE DARE to help strengthen my marriage of 23yrs. "
Sophie from iSophie said "Communication is key. And basic morals actually, we all know right from wrong after all don't we? Having a common interest or showing avid active interest in your spouses' interest goes along way in strengthening a relationship I find"
Mark from My Gungahlin said "A friend said his grandparents tip was they had to kiss goodnight every night. This meant they wouldn't go to bed angry/upset with the other or each other.
Karen said "Don't try to change them! You fell in love with them as they were, not how you want them to be"
Thanks everyone for these great tips.
Linking up today with Essentially Jess for:
